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OK time I think to start working on habit number 2 - morning break. This is my plan
Choose one item from each of the three lists (or anything similar) for morning break
Full fat yoghurt
Small square of cheese
One egg (or half a duck egg)
Half a cake
One to two sweets or chocolates
One small slice of bread
(I am allowing for cakes and goodies that are often lying around the workplace for anyone to eat)
Two to three nuts
Half a piece of fruit
Two to three dates
Then nothing until lunch time
This feels like a frustratingly slow process and that I a getting nowhere. At the sae time I feel confident that it is working
The breakfast thing appears to be well established now, but I have been compensating for a smaller breakfast by having quite a large snack mid morning. This smaller mid morning snack doesn't really fill the hole but having nothing between mid morning break and dinner is not proving as painful as I thought. It is certainly doable and I am confident it will be an established habit by the end of august
Stressful times in my life at the moment - almost as bad as divorce, but I am still sticking to this program
The main sticking point is about 1 hour after morning break when I get hungry again, but as this is the only single urge in the day that I have to deal with, it's not too hard to do
I am about 14st 12pounds.
Still 14st 12 pounds
There have been so any moments when I have had to conciously stop myself putting food in my mouth. for instance this morning as I am tidying the kitchen and putting some stuff in a cupboard, there's 4 choc buttons in a packet and I almost tidied them up by eating them. It is eye opening - I realise now that for years this has been a habit - tiding up odd bits of random food by eating it instead of putting it away or in the bin
hopefully by the end of this month my new habit will be to automatically put these little nibbles to one side to eat at lunch time instead
It is just starting to dawn on me the risk I am taking with this experiment on both my health and my sanity
As I expected my weight has gone up This overweightness causes problems. I have difficulty with some things such as wiping my own bum or picking up stuff I drop or kneeling to paint the skirting boards of the box room. I feel like a lead weight especially when climbing the stairs
I have had to order new work clothes
A few days ago I went clothes shopping and all the lovely dresses I tried on looked so wrong. Even if they were the right size, they weren't made to fit a football
The strain on my heart and my joints must be immense
The temptation to say "The real diet begins now, I just cant go on like this" is powerful
But the knowledge that previous weight loss attempts never lasted is an incentive to keep up with this experiment
on Saturday I am going away for the weekend Lets see how I do
Realised that the breakfast up to break time routine is now totally automatic when it dawned on me that I had walked past the same pack of biscuits in the office (on display for all to help themselves to) about 5 times without it even occurring to me to eat one. However break to lunchtime still needs a conscious effort but it's not as difficult as before
This is encouraging me that maybe I really am taking the right course of action
Busy week so haven't had a second to write any updates but just a few points about my weekend away. I did go off track but I think that is all part and parcel of becoming relaxed and comfortable - normal - around food instead of being terrified of eating this that and the other on special occasions
my journey was a little stressful because of a few diversions so I arrived a little stressed and late and had eaten the wrong things at the wrong times on the way. Then breakfast the next day was included in the price so I ate about 3x as much as normal because it was delicious and the cook was friendly.
However this did have a knock on effect when it came to lunch time when I wasn't hungry and didn't eat until the evening, so maybe my body is becoming used to eating less and sending out signal to eat less later to compensate. If so, well that is amazing. A soon as I was home again I easily got right back on track.
Only roughly one week to go but am thinking of extending it a bit because I still have to consciously stop myself at time to time after morning break
however I've found that I am also almost subconsciously easing myself into a new lunchtime routine and planning smaller lunches and taking roughly the same size lunch to work every day. I know in my head roughly what my new lunchtime choices are going to be
The thing is, if I am having to make such a conscious effort over just one change then how could I possibly have hoped to attempt a full swap of habits all in one go. but the temptation is always there - to rush and diet all at once to lose weight quickly
It is frustrating that not only is there no reduction in my weight, I am in fact getting fatter! It is evident that there will be no loss for some time yet
I had planned to start on habit 3 by now, but I don't think I am ready. The urge to eat between morning break and dinner time is still there, especially when I am not at work.
I must say though that habit one is well and truly stuck now.
Besides, I am not prepared for it yet. I have no concrete plan for lunch. So although that old destructive tendency to race along with dieting faster than my will power can cope with is trying to take hold, I am not going to let it. This is going to take at least another week and it is so frustrating. In some ways this is harder than traditional dieting.
A little bit of a tip here. If you are doing this too, and you find that the urge to eat more than you should or at a time when you shouldn't, think back to what you last ate. Have you had everything your body needs? That is, carbohydrates, fats, protein, fibre, micronutrients and water. Only today, about an hour after breakfast, I had an - almost - uncontrollable urge to eat, even though morning break snack was only an hour away. Surely I could wait that long? No, my mouth and belly were screaming to be fed. This wasn't normal hunger. This was an addictive urge. Then I remembered that something was missing from my breakfast. I had forgotten to drink my cup of tea! I had had nothing to drink This is bad, and this is partly how I ended up with a kidney stone. I forget to drink sometimes. If this was the case with food, I wouldn't have my weight problem.
So one big fat cup of tea later and I was fine. When it comes to balanced nutrition we often forget water.
Sometimes, strangely enough I find preparing food takes my mind off eating. So if it's getting near lunch and I am getting hungry enough for it to be a distraction, getting that lunch prepared makes me feel like IT'S COMING!
I am glad now that I haven't gone on to the next stage. It is quite evident that stage 2 has not yet become a habit when I look at what I am about to eat at morning break and think "is this all I get?"
Have had a couple of other thoughts recently too, that food and water are not the only thing the body needs - obviously - so maybe it is not just food I should be thinking about when it comes to changing habits. Maybe if the body is deprived of other things necessary for its good health, it can trigger hunger. It might be a natural response to anything that is missing to try to fill the void with food. It is already well known that sleep depravity can cause over eating. But what about lack of good clean air, lack of quiet stress free moments or lack of affection and hugs?
I am definitely gong to include changing my sleeping habits into my plan and meditative habits too, but I will leave the until last.
It struck me this morning that the real reason I have been putting off stage three is not so much that stage 2 has not become a habit yet, but because stage three is looking a bit scary. So I have just leapt in at the deep end with stage three today. I had a good idea of what my new rules were going to be for this stage so I was sort of half prepared and here now at 3pm - the verdict? Well, just like the time I remember so well when I jumped into water the first time ever, it wasn't nearly so bad as I thought it would be and I am raring to go with this one - again.
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